The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly - Meet Riley

We have a new family member. Her name is Riley. We adopted her from Affinity Rescue in Pardeeville, WI. She is between 10-12 months old and is a boxer, bulldog, who knows? mix.

The good: This dog is so so sweet. She is mostly very calm, loves to be petted and cuddled. She thinks she's a lap dog, which I love (but some may not appreciate). She does not jump on people and rarely barks. She also gets "the zooms" and runs around the back yard like a super beast, and loves to chase/fetch tennis balls. She gets along with dogs, too. The boys and I have been wanting a dog for a while, and I think we picked the right girl for our family. If you like dogs at all, you can't help but like her.

naughty, naughty

The bad:

Not much bad here. She has to learn not to go on the couch. She sheds a bit. She snores. She also does not chew her food. She inhales it and then chokes. She was a stray, so I'm guessing that she has to learn that she will always have food here before she slows down. She is a puppy so she tends to chew stuffed animals if she can get them. As a result, our floor is finally free of stuffed animals. Yay! She also chewed a couple teethmarks in Max's DSi. Yep, a lot less toys laying out around the Lueck house.

Pet me, please?

The ugly: Well, she does have a look. If you look at her from the side, she looks pretty normal. But straight on, and you get the super bulgy eyes, one looking a bit off to the side. She also has an underbite. A neighbor boy said, (in a cutesy voice), "Oh, you're so cute. What chubby eyes you have." I love that! I've been showing her picture to my students, and I've noticed that the younger the student, the cuter they think she is. Older students and adults don't always think she's so cute. In fact, Danny says she's the ugliest dog he's ever seen.

She's definitely found her way into my heart, and I'm so glad to have her. 

My Wish for the New School Year

I love the start of school. It doesn't matter that summer was awesome and I wish I had more of it. It doesn't matter that I love hanging in my pajamas into all hours of the morning (and sometimes afternoon). It doesn't matter that I am addicted to a cup of coffee while watching the Today Show.

I love the start of a new school year! The hope and promise of a new year is always a thrill for me. New relationships, rekindling old relationships, trying something new, a fresh start; these are all phrases that come to mind.

Most importantly, though, I have a goal for my music classroom: I want my students to experience the love from me that I have received unconditionally from Jesus. I want this at the start of every school year. For ALL my students. Even the ones that can wear you down. Even the ones that are tough. Even the ones who won't participate. Even the ones who are quiet. Even the ones who are quirky. Even the ones who are so sweet, but are hiding a secret hurt. Especially all of them!

I strive and pray for this every year, and every year I know that I fail. I get too focused on a result. I get distracted.  I get frustrated. I forget to see the "child" in the children. Lord, help me to always see these little children as you see them. Help me to respond in a way that honors your love. I know I don't deserve it, but I am so grateful and blessed to have that gift.

They really all are a gift to me, entrusted to me by their parents and community. Help me to remember that in the midst of a tough schedule, a hard day, pressures to perform, or whatever else gets in the way. I am teaching music, but what I'm really doing is loving small human beings.

I want to incorporate lots and lots of play, even for my older students. We need to laugh and communicate and include everyone. No matter what my principal directed goal sheet is for the year, these are my goals for my new, challenging,  and exciting school year!

Love,

Me

I am not Super Mom.

Guess what. I am not supermom.

This post has been running around in my head for about 4 months now. I started full time teaching in September, and after the initial excitement of the start of the school year, I began to realize that I can't do it all.

Right around November, concert craziness set in, and most of my attention was directed toward getting ready for two school concerts. My new school was the most stressful, mostly due to the fact that I was new there and had to learn the system while trying to "prove" myself. I spent a lot of extra time at work in November and December and definitely neglected my family at home. Even when I was at home, my mind was at school. But it was temporary, right?

January was also busy with having to grade about 500 students and have my summative evaluation after 3 years in the district.

Now that I've settled into February and stress isn't running my life, I think I've settled into a slight depression and realization that I cannot do it all. Danny and I had a talk about priorities in our family and I shared with him what I have been fearing for many months now. I'm having a tough time with working full-time.

I know, I know. My kids are in school now. I should be happy to have a full time job. They're in school all day anyway.

But I'm not. I feel like I give the best of myself to my students each day. Teaching elementary music is a wonderful career; so fun, so many hugs, but mentally and physically taxing. I'm dealing with little feelings all day long. I think teachers understand this.

When I come home, I'm done. It is a lot easier to veg out in front of the computer instead of engaging with my kids. Things that are really important to me, like playing with my boys, planning great meals, cooking, spending quality time with my husband, praying..... All of these things take a back burner to my "alone" time.

See, I'm the kind of person who needs alone time. I am an introvert, and engaging with people all day (big or small) takes a lot out of me. So my family time at night is the time when I punch out. Not good. This is hurting my soul.

I feel like a failure. Shouldn't I be able to work all day at a job I love, cook a great meal, and hang out with my family? After all, I've got a great husband, who has definitely picked up my slack around here. I want to be able to do it... But once again, I feel like I'm failing in every area.

Where to go from here? Not sure. There's been tears, "trying" harder... I need to pray, that's for sure. And I'll take all the prayers I can get.

I had a principal once, who told me that her priorities went like this: God, family, career.

Here's some latest pics of my family. I know that I am blessed.

Max and Tanner are the two holding hands. Love it!

Love, me.

***UPDATE Spring Break came and went, and it seemed that I just needed a break. Came back from break with a much better outlook and energy and finished the school year strong. Keep me in your prayers for next year!